![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Entry tags:
- character:main:gary prince,
- character:main:marshall lee,
- event:nanowrimo 2023,
- fandom:adventure time,
- length:3k to 5k,
- length:oneshot,
- pairing:marshall lee/gary prince,
- rating:teen and up audiences,
- relationship:m/m,
- tropes:autistic character,
- tropes:autistic character:gary,
- tropes:domestic,
- tropes:hurt/comfort,
- tropes:misunderstanding,
- tropes:nonbinary character,
- tropes:nonbinary character:marshall lee,
- tropes:pining,
- tropes:post-coital,
- tropes:trans character,
- tropes:trans character:gary,
- type:fanfiction,
- year:2023
Adventure Time: Fionna & Cake | Why Mess Up A Good Thing?
Rating: T
Fandom: Adventure Time: Fionna & Cake
Characters: Marshall Lee, Gary Prince
Relationships: Marshall Lee/Gary Prince
Words: 3,006
Content Warnings: N/A
Tropes: Domestic, Pining, Post-Coital, Autistic Character (Gary Prince), Trans Character (Gary Prince), Nonbinary Character (Marshall Lee), Hurt/Comfort, Misunderstanding
Summary: Gary and Marshall Lee retire to Gary's apartment after Hana Abadeer's charity ball, unsure of what they are, and how their spontaneous kiss (and hookup in Marshall Lee's van) changes things between them.
The title comes from "Sleeping with a Friend" by Neon Trees, for the heavy-handed on-the-nose aspect.
A request from my beloved, as inspired by our interpretation of the events in "The Star". Quote, "I truly and genuinely believe that Gary and Marshall weren’t dating during episode 7, had a spontaneous open mouth with tongue kiss in an elevator, AND fucked in the car about it." (Lastname, Verdant. Tumblr, 8 Oct. 2023, verdantmeadows.tumblr.com/post/730592142618181632/i-truly-and-genuinely-believe-that-gary-and.) So, this is my attempt at writing the aftermath of that!
Verdant also co-authored this! More specifically, he gave me the request, we worked on the outline together, I wrote it and xie beta-read it! (Well, zie beta-reads most of my fics, but still.)
Gary held the door open for Marshall Lee. He'd never done that before.
Marshall Lee didn't say anything about that, though. Instead, brought his newly-free hand up to his mouth, feigning shock. "How gentlemanly of you."
"Well," Gary chuckled, closing the door to his apartment after Marshall Lee walked in, "You're the one carrying our clothes."
"Yeah..." Marshall Lee looked down at their other arm, which carried their own tie and suit jacket, and Gary's jacket, as well. They turned to face Gary again and lifted their arm to indicate to it. "What do I do with these, by the way?"
Gary walked over and carefully lifted the clothes from Marshall Lee's arm, folding them over his own and absentmindedly brushing them off. "Oh, I'll throw them in the wash with the rest of our clothes."
"Ohh, shoot. Should I grab the clothes we went in from the van, orrr...?"
"That's alright, Marshall." Gary was already opening the door to what Marshall Lee could only assume was his bedroom. "You can get undressed in the bathroom." He shut the door behind him.
Marshall Lee blinked a few times in confusion, straightening his lips in an awkward line, absently wondering if Gary was planning to have a round two in his bathroom (even if that didn't really make sense, because there were couches and, presumably, a bed). But, in the end, he figured that it was likely just Gary forgetting that he had to tell those around him what he planned to do again, and he began to look for the bathroom.
They'd never been to Gary's apartment before, but it was small, so they got the bathroom door right on the first try. Once they were in, though, and the door was locked, they leaned against the door, sighing heavily, as if the force of it could push the weight off their chest.
They were both avoiding the question.
Marshall Lee had never felt awkward around Gary before the ride home from his mom's charity ball. And, sure, they'd talked the whole way home, just like they always did. Their shared energy was close to how it was before. But that is what made it so uncanny; the slight shifts in their dynamic became more obvious. The tiny pauses in conversation, just a few beats too long. Their voices, just slightly more strained than usual. And they hadn't touched each other once since they had gotten re-dressed in the van. It put Marshall Lee on edge, made him feel like swallowing his emotions and never letting himself feel again.
What was that? They practised asking Gary in their mind as they undressed, unsure if they'd ever ask. Was that a passionate hookup? Or was it a wordless love confession? Is this going to turn into a 'friends with benefits' situation? Because, fuck, if it was, Marshall Lee would have to figure something out. They don't know what yet, but something. They wouldn't be able to handle that, having Gary so close, but not in the way they wanted.
He hadn't realized that he had never told Gary that he was in love with him until it was too late, and they were too far along to slow down. Not that Marshall Lee had wanted to slow down, even when he realized that. But, even as soon as when they were both catching their breath, he knew that he'd made a mistake in not telling Gary.
Because what if Gary had only done any of that out of a physical desire?
Just as they were setting their clothes on the bathroom vanity, there was a knock on the door. "It's me!" Gary's voice calls. "...Well, of course it's me. There's nobody else here. But would you open the door?"
Marshall Lee blinked a few times, suddenly feeling a lot more naked than he did before. Gary had seen him naked only about an hour earlier, but he was... well, preoccupied, then. There'd be a lot more time and space to focus on how he looked this time around.
Still, though, they recognized how stupid it would sound to say 'no'. "Uhh, sure..." They leaned over, and unlocked the bathroom door. "I sorta have no clothes, though."
"Me neither," Gary replied, opening the door before Marshall Lee could even begin to comprehend that sentence. As soon as he came into the bathroom, Marshall Lee quickly averted his eyes, his face flushing hot and suddenly getting the urge to apologize.
They weren't sure, but they thought that Gary was avoiding looking at him, too. They heard the shower enclosure being opened, and then the water turned on, before this assumption got confirmed with Gary asking (so quietly that Marshall Lee could've missed it), "Would you... prefer I not look...?"
Marshall Lee swiftly shook his head, then realized that Gary wouldn't have been able to see it, and quickly saying, "No! It's okay." He kept averting his own eyes, though, rubbing the back of his neck with a small chuckle. "Nothing you haven't seen before," he explained, more to again remind himself than to Gary.
"Right." Gary's tone seemed somewhat on-edge, but he said, "You can look at me, too," even still.
Marshall Lee hesitantly brought his eyes to where Gary was; kneeling outside of the shower enclosure, testing the water's temperature with the back of his hand, before lifting the diverter to make the water switch to coming from the shower head.
Marshall Lee halfheartedly lifted one hand, pointing to the shower head. "Is that for me?"
"It's for both of us."
Just as Marshall Lee had started getting used to the two of them being without clothes, their face flushed hot again, their head snapping back to look at Gary. "Huh?"
Despite his attempt to cool his tone near the end, Gary must've sensed his embarrassment and looked over his shoulder with a concerned expression.
"Is that alright?" He fidgeted with his hands, looking away again, with his head still turned towards Marshall Lee. "I mean, it's alright if not, but I figured it would be quicker and less of a hassle. Plus, we have limited warm water."
Gary seemed like he could continue justifying it, but, honestly, Marshall Lee didn't need to hear it, and they quickly shook their head.
"No! That's okay, that's cool." He didn't need Gary thinking that they were against other forms of intimacy, on the chance that this whole thing did end up being romantic on his end. (No matter how nerve-wracking the idea was.)
Gary grinned, seemingly relieved, before standing up and opening the door to the shower enclosure, presumably waiting for Marshall Lee. "Well, get in, then."
Marshall Lee hesitated immediately outside the entrance, reaching out to feel the water. It was warm on his hand, so he carefully stepped in, leaning against the tile as soon as he could to make sure he wouldn't slip. He heard the door close behind him, and he turned to look at Gary over his shoulder, it again striking him how much more intimate this felt compared to the... well, the sex. It was so much easier in the low light of his van. Here, he had nowhere to hide, and it scared him a bit; mostly because he had no clue where Gary's head was at.
They watched as Gary reached over and grabbed what Marshall Lee assumed was body wash, before pouring it into his hand. "We can wash ourselves, for the most part, but I can get your back, if you want."
God, did he want. But he tried to play it off, quickly turning to face the shower head again. "Yeah," he managed. "I can get yours, too."
"Aw, thanks!" Gary replied, and Marshall Lee was glad they were looking away, because if they saw him smile right then, they didn't know that they would be able to resist kissing him again.
Thankfully, they got used to showering together relatively fast. Gary eventually got to chatting about how he'd spent ages looking for a shower head with the right amount of water pressure, and the reaction of relaxation to listening to Gary talk apparently outweighed the tension of being naked in front of him.
The tension returned twice. Once was when they glanced over when Gary happened to be washing his breasts (cue turning their head back so fast that it strained their neck and thinking about the grossest things they could manage to avoid visible arousal). The second was when they went to wash each others' backs.
Gary's was first, and the moment that Marshall Lee pressed his hands to his back, his face flushed slightly. His skin was so soft under Marshall Lee's guitar string-scarred fingers. Gary being on the heavier side also made him supple to his touch, and all the more easy to get lost in. Which Marshall Lee almost caught himself doing, multiple times. He allowed himself the luxury of making slow circles with his hands as he washed him, and when Gary let his head lean forward and made a gentle, pleased noise, Marshall Lee felt tears threatening to fall before he knew that he was growing upset.
They were upset, they realized, when it was their turn. Upset that they wanted this so badly. Every day, for the rest of their life, they wanted this. They wanted to shower together with Gary, sleep in his bed, be the first to try his latest recipes. They didn't just want Gary for the rest of their life; they wanted to go back into their past and make room for him there, too. They wanted to play together as kids. They wanted to eat lunch together in the school cafeteria. They wanted Gary to be there for every embarrassing childhood phase, if it meant he would hold them through it.
Gary massaged his back, as he did his, and Marshall Lee almost felt like prey for it. Not even the sun had touched his back before, and the thought is what finally made a few tears fall, with Marshall Lee unsure of which drops they were, and which were just the water. He desperately tried to control his breathing, fighting to keep Gary from seeing how this was destroying him. How bad he needed it.
How were they ever supposed to come back from this?
They were going to leave this apartment today, lonelier than they'd come. Once they left, with the memory of how this felt, they'd never be able to go back to using love songs as a substitute for being wanted.
Gary left Marshall Lee alone in the bathroom again when it came time to dry off, while he did so in his bedroom. When he'd left, closing the door behind him, Marshall Lee stared at the door for a lingering while, holding the pink towel he was given, loosely.
Somehow, they felt abandoned, no matter how stupid the idea was. Gary hadn't left him. He was just in the other room.
Somehow, that felt... worse.
He didn't bother locking the door as he dried himself off. Gary's towel was fluffy, and smelled vaguely fruity. Lots of Gary's items were scented, Marshall Lee had come to learn. It was charming.
They shook their head at the thought, and tried to imagine all their feelings going down the drain, flushed into the sea, along with the shower water. They had to piece themself together before they saw Gary again. They had no idea what the two of them were, and they refused to hope. The reason they'd survived so long, despite the world's best attempts to see otherwise, was because they could cope with being alone. They never relied on one person completely—or at least, not since their parents, and that hadn't exactly turned out well for them.
He splashed his face with water, put the towel over his shoulders and took several deep breaths before opening the bathroom door just a bit, so he could peer out.
"Hey, Gare?"
"Oh!! Yes!"
Gary was apparently already closeby, and rushed to the bathroom door, now dressed in comfortable loungewear, and holding even more clothes.
"I'm sorry, but our clothes are still in the dryer. Here, I found these." He held up a pair of boxers, which Marshall Lee accepted, already having closed the door to put them on before Gary added, "Uh, they were still in the package! I can show you, if you want!"
"Nah, it's cool," Marshall Lee said, leaning on the bathroom vanity to get the boxers on.
"Oh! And- and I know they're probably a bit oversized, but I-"
Marshall Lee opened the door to the bathroom fully, once they had the underwear on, which made Gary jump a bit in surprise, before he lifted the other clothes in his hands with a shy smile. "... but I thought maybe you could wear my clothes? At least until yours are done."
Marshall Lee's chest forgot the promise that his head made to not hope, and grew warm. His stomach and lungs got set on edge again, and he wasn't sure exactly what he was feeling, staring at the clothes Gary was holding. He reached out, and grabbed the first shirt he saw, turning it in his hands to see what it was. It was light blue (a pajama top, it looked like), and had a simple print of a cat's face on it.
Unlike earlier, Marshall Lee knew they were going to start crying before it happened. Only by half a second; not long enough that they had any hope to regain control, not long enough to turn away, but just long enough to feel dread fall over their body before the first tear dropped down silently. The second came soon after, and they moved the shirt to one hand, their jaw tensing up as they wiped their eyes, determined to not make a sound.
Gary noticed their tears almost immediately, gasping and covering his mouth with one hand, before quickly bursting into, "Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry! I- do you not like-? I can get you different ones, I was just-"
Marshall Lee chuckled shakily, letting the arm holding Gary's shirt fall. "No, it's not that. I..."
Well, he couldn't exactly say he was fine, could he? Clearly, he wasn't. And, God, he was so exhausted of pretending. It had only been a couple hours, but it felt like ages to him; he wouldn't be able to keep this up, even if he did lie now.
So, they didn't. They looked away, forcing a shaky smile, and said with a wobbling voice, "I just want this so bad."
Gary blinked a few time, before pointing to the shirt in Marshall Lee's hand. "The cat shirt?"
Marshall Lee shook his head again, his smile becoming more genuine for a second. "No, this." He extended his arm, motioning around the house.
"All of this. It's..." His arm dropped. "...so familiar. You're so familiar. Like... an old lover I've just met. And it's all so... domestic. And it hurts, because I've only known you for a little while, but I love you so much. Because I don't know if you-" He closed his eyes tight, trying hard not to sob, but feeling one bubble up past his throat, despite his best efforts. "- just... if- if you don't want me, I don't know if I can do this. Be this close to you. It hurts too badly. I'm sorry."
They focused too hard on steadying their breath to notice right away the noises Gary was making. Once they did, they opened their eyes, and immediately felt a wave of guilt crash down on their chest once they saw Gary crying, in turn, with the noises he was making being shaking gasps.
Gary took a deep breath to speak, clearly struggling to even get the words out and talking fast to do so.
"I thought you didn't love me! You're way too cool for me, and I just- I wasn't sure- I was worried that I was being too much!! I didn't know if I was going too far, or not far enough, I couldn't read your face or your tone or anything! So I just kept guessing, but...!" He interrupted himself with a sob, wiping his tears with his shoulder.
"No, I..." Marshall Lee shook his head, taking a step closer to Gary and desperately wanting to touch him, but not sure what would be okay. "Gary..." He hesitantly pressed a hand to Gary's wet cheek, which, to his relief, he leaned into. "Come on. You know I'm not that cool."
Gary laughed shakily, pushing his face further into Marshall Lee's hand, like a cat that leaned up into being pet. "You're really cool to me."
"I haven't exactly been cool the past few minutes."
Gary shook his head, even despite Marshall Lee's joking tone. "No. You told me the truth, even when it was hard because you risked being hurt. That's one of the coolest things that I can think of."
Marshall Lee felt his face go warm, shocked to silence for a moment, before averting his eyes with a grin. "I was being stupid, though."
"We've both been stupid," Gary responded easily.
Marshall Lee nodded slowly, rubbing Gary's cheek with their thumb tenderly. "... Could I kiss you even stupider?"
He felt Gary's face go warmer under his hand before he saw the blush spread across his face. "... I mean..." Gary stuttered for a moment, clearly trying to formulate some sort of clever comeback that continued their banter, but gave up, letting his head lean forward for Marshall Lee's easier access. "I'd like that."
So, they did. They kissed away the tears on Gary's cheek, and then they wrapped both arms around him, holding him close while he kissed their lips.
Fandom: Adventure Time: Fionna & Cake
Characters: Marshall Lee, Gary Prince
Relationships: Marshall Lee/Gary Prince
Words: 3,006
Content Warnings: N/A
Tropes: Domestic, Pining, Post-Coital, Autistic Character (Gary Prince), Trans Character (Gary Prince), Nonbinary Character (Marshall Lee), Hurt/Comfort, Misunderstanding
Summary: Gary and Marshall Lee retire to Gary's apartment after Hana Abadeer's charity ball, unsure of what they are, and how their spontaneous kiss (and hookup in Marshall Lee's van) changes things between them.
The title comes from "Sleeping with a Friend" by Neon Trees, for the heavy-handed on-the-nose aspect.
A request from my beloved, as inspired by our interpretation of the events in "The Star". Quote, "I truly and genuinely believe that Gary and Marshall weren’t dating during episode 7, had a spontaneous open mouth with tongue kiss in an elevator, AND fucked in the car about it." (Lastname, Verdant. Tumblr, 8 Oct. 2023, verdantmeadows.tumblr.com/post/730592142618181632/i-truly-and-genuinely-believe-that-gary-and.) So, this is my attempt at writing the aftermath of that!
Verdant also co-authored this! More specifically, he gave me the request, we worked on the outline together, I wrote it and xie beta-read it! (Well, zie beta-reads most of my fics, but still.)
Gary held the door open for Marshall Lee. He'd never done that before.
Marshall Lee didn't say anything about that, though. Instead, brought his newly-free hand up to his mouth, feigning shock. "How gentlemanly of you."
"Well," Gary chuckled, closing the door to his apartment after Marshall Lee walked in, "You're the one carrying our clothes."
"Yeah..." Marshall Lee looked down at their other arm, which carried their own tie and suit jacket, and Gary's jacket, as well. They turned to face Gary again and lifted their arm to indicate to it. "What do I do with these, by the way?"
Gary walked over and carefully lifted the clothes from Marshall Lee's arm, folding them over his own and absentmindedly brushing them off. "Oh, I'll throw them in the wash with the rest of our clothes."
"Ohh, shoot. Should I grab the clothes we went in from the van, orrr...?"
"That's alright, Marshall." Gary was already opening the door to what Marshall Lee could only assume was his bedroom. "You can get undressed in the bathroom." He shut the door behind him.
Marshall Lee blinked a few times in confusion, straightening his lips in an awkward line, absently wondering if Gary was planning to have a round two in his bathroom (even if that didn't really make sense, because there were couches and, presumably, a bed). But, in the end, he figured that it was likely just Gary forgetting that he had to tell those around him what he planned to do again, and he began to look for the bathroom.
They'd never been to Gary's apartment before, but it was small, so they got the bathroom door right on the first try. Once they were in, though, and the door was locked, they leaned against the door, sighing heavily, as if the force of it could push the weight off their chest.
They were both avoiding the question.
Marshall Lee had never felt awkward around Gary before the ride home from his mom's charity ball. And, sure, they'd talked the whole way home, just like they always did. Their shared energy was close to how it was before. But that is what made it so uncanny; the slight shifts in their dynamic became more obvious. The tiny pauses in conversation, just a few beats too long. Their voices, just slightly more strained than usual. And they hadn't touched each other once since they had gotten re-dressed in the van. It put Marshall Lee on edge, made him feel like swallowing his emotions and never letting himself feel again.
What was that? They practised asking Gary in their mind as they undressed, unsure if they'd ever ask. Was that a passionate hookup? Or was it a wordless love confession? Is this going to turn into a 'friends with benefits' situation? Because, fuck, if it was, Marshall Lee would have to figure something out. They don't know what yet, but something. They wouldn't be able to handle that, having Gary so close, but not in the way they wanted.
He hadn't realized that he had never told Gary that he was in love with him until it was too late, and they were too far along to slow down. Not that Marshall Lee had wanted to slow down, even when he realized that. But, even as soon as when they were both catching their breath, he knew that he'd made a mistake in not telling Gary.
Because what if Gary had only done any of that out of a physical desire?
Just as they were setting their clothes on the bathroom vanity, there was a knock on the door. "It's me!" Gary's voice calls. "...Well, of course it's me. There's nobody else here. But would you open the door?"
Marshall Lee blinked a few times, suddenly feeling a lot more naked than he did before. Gary had seen him naked only about an hour earlier, but he was... well, preoccupied, then. There'd be a lot more time and space to focus on how he looked this time around.
Still, though, they recognized how stupid it would sound to say 'no'. "Uhh, sure..." They leaned over, and unlocked the bathroom door. "I sorta have no clothes, though."
"Me neither," Gary replied, opening the door before Marshall Lee could even begin to comprehend that sentence. As soon as he came into the bathroom, Marshall Lee quickly averted his eyes, his face flushing hot and suddenly getting the urge to apologize.
They weren't sure, but they thought that Gary was avoiding looking at him, too. They heard the shower enclosure being opened, and then the water turned on, before this assumption got confirmed with Gary asking (so quietly that Marshall Lee could've missed it), "Would you... prefer I not look...?"
Marshall Lee swiftly shook his head, then realized that Gary wouldn't have been able to see it, and quickly saying, "No! It's okay." He kept averting his own eyes, though, rubbing the back of his neck with a small chuckle. "Nothing you haven't seen before," he explained, more to again remind himself than to Gary.
"Right." Gary's tone seemed somewhat on-edge, but he said, "You can look at me, too," even still.
Marshall Lee hesitantly brought his eyes to where Gary was; kneeling outside of the shower enclosure, testing the water's temperature with the back of his hand, before lifting the diverter to make the water switch to coming from the shower head.
Marshall Lee halfheartedly lifted one hand, pointing to the shower head. "Is that for me?"
"It's for both of us."
Just as Marshall Lee had started getting used to the two of them being without clothes, their face flushed hot again, their head snapping back to look at Gary. "Huh?"
Despite his attempt to cool his tone near the end, Gary must've sensed his embarrassment and looked over his shoulder with a concerned expression.
"Is that alright?" He fidgeted with his hands, looking away again, with his head still turned towards Marshall Lee. "I mean, it's alright if not, but I figured it would be quicker and less of a hassle. Plus, we have limited warm water."
Gary seemed like he could continue justifying it, but, honestly, Marshall Lee didn't need to hear it, and they quickly shook their head.
"No! That's okay, that's cool." He didn't need Gary thinking that they were against other forms of intimacy, on the chance that this whole thing did end up being romantic on his end. (No matter how nerve-wracking the idea was.)
Gary grinned, seemingly relieved, before standing up and opening the door to the shower enclosure, presumably waiting for Marshall Lee. "Well, get in, then."
Marshall Lee hesitated immediately outside the entrance, reaching out to feel the water. It was warm on his hand, so he carefully stepped in, leaning against the tile as soon as he could to make sure he wouldn't slip. He heard the door close behind him, and he turned to look at Gary over his shoulder, it again striking him how much more intimate this felt compared to the... well, the sex. It was so much easier in the low light of his van. Here, he had nowhere to hide, and it scared him a bit; mostly because he had no clue where Gary's head was at.
They watched as Gary reached over and grabbed what Marshall Lee assumed was body wash, before pouring it into his hand. "We can wash ourselves, for the most part, but I can get your back, if you want."
God, did he want. But he tried to play it off, quickly turning to face the shower head again. "Yeah," he managed. "I can get yours, too."
"Aw, thanks!" Gary replied, and Marshall Lee was glad they were looking away, because if they saw him smile right then, they didn't know that they would be able to resist kissing him again.
Thankfully, they got used to showering together relatively fast. Gary eventually got to chatting about how he'd spent ages looking for a shower head with the right amount of water pressure, and the reaction of relaxation to listening to Gary talk apparently outweighed the tension of being naked in front of him.
The tension returned twice. Once was when they glanced over when Gary happened to be washing his breasts (cue turning their head back so fast that it strained their neck and thinking about the grossest things they could manage to avoid visible arousal). The second was when they went to wash each others' backs.
Gary's was first, and the moment that Marshall Lee pressed his hands to his back, his face flushed slightly. His skin was so soft under Marshall Lee's guitar string-scarred fingers. Gary being on the heavier side also made him supple to his touch, and all the more easy to get lost in. Which Marshall Lee almost caught himself doing, multiple times. He allowed himself the luxury of making slow circles with his hands as he washed him, and when Gary let his head lean forward and made a gentle, pleased noise, Marshall Lee felt tears threatening to fall before he knew that he was growing upset.
Was he upset?
They were upset, they realized, when it was their turn. Upset that they wanted this so badly. Every day, for the rest of their life, they wanted this. They wanted to shower together with Gary, sleep in his bed, be the first to try his latest recipes. They didn't just want Gary for the rest of their life; they wanted to go back into their past and make room for him there, too. They wanted to play together as kids. They wanted to eat lunch together in the school cafeteria. They wanted Gary to be there for every embarrassing childhood phase, if it meant he would hold them through it.
Gary massaged his back, as he did his, and Marshall Lee almost felt like prey for it. Not even the sun had touched his back before, and the thought is what finally made a few tears fall, with Marshall Lee unsure of which drops they were, and which were just the water. He desperately tried to control his breathing, fighting to keep Gary from seeing how this was destroying him. How bad he needed it.
How were they ever supposed to come back from this?
They were going to leave this apartment today, lonelier than they'd come. Once they left, with the memory of how this felt, they'd never be able to go back to using love songs as a substitute for being wanted.
Gary left Marshall Lee alone in the bathroom again when it came time to dry off, while he did so in his bedroom. When he'd left, closing the door behind him, Marshall Lee stared at the door for a lingering while, holding the pink towel he was given, loosely.
Somehow, they felt abandoned, no matter how stupid the idea was. Gary hadn't left him. He was just in the other room.
Somehow, that felt... worse.
He didn't bother locking the door as he dried himself off. Gary's towel was fluffy, and smelled vaguely fruity. Lots of Gary's items were scented, Marshall Lee had come to learn. It was charming.
They shook their head at the thought, and tried to imagine all their feelings going down the drain, flushed into the sea, along with the shower water. They had to piece themself together before they saw Gary again. They had no idea what the two of them were, and they refused to hope. The reason they'd survived so long, despite the world's best attempts to see otherwise, was because they could cope with being alone. They never relied on one person completely—or at least, not since their parents, and that hadn't exactly turned out well for them.
Ask this person for this, ask another person for that. Rely on others, but never too much at once. And never expect for love to be unconditional.
He splashed his face with water, put the towel over his shoulders and took several deep breaths before opening the bathroom door just a bit, so he could peer out.
"Hey, Gare?"
"Oh!! Yes!"
Gary was apparently already closeby, and rushed to the bathroom door, now dressed in comfortable loungewear, and holding even more clothes.
"I'm sorry, but our clothes are still in the dryer. Here, I found these." He held up a pair of boxers, which Marshall Lee accepted, already having closed the door to put them on before Gary added, "Uh, they were still in the package! I can show you, if you want!"
"Nah, it's cool," Marshall Lee said, leaning on the bathroom vanity to get the boxers on.
"Oh! And- and I know they're probably a bit oversized, but I-"
Marshall Lee opened the door to the bathroom fully, once they had the underwear on, which made Gary jump a bit in surprise, before he lifted the other clothes in his hands with a shy smile. "... but I thought maybe you could wear my clothes? At least until yours are done."
Marshall Lee's chest forgot the promise that his head made to not hope, and grew warm. His stomach and lungs got set on edge again, and he wasn't sure exactly what he was feeling, staring at the clothes Gary was holding. He reached out, and grabbed the first shirt he saw, turning it in his hands to see what it was. It was light blue (a pajama top, it looked like), and had a simple print of a cat's face on it.
Unlike earlier, Marshall Lee knew they were going to start crying before it happened. Only by half a second; not long enough that they had any hope to regain control, not long enough to turn away, but just long enough to feel dread fall over their body before the first tear dropped down silently. The second came soon after, and they moved the shirt to one hand, their jaw tensing up as they wiped their eyes, determined to not make a sound.
Gary noticed their tears almost immediately, gasping and covering his mouth with one hand, before quickly bursting into, "Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry! I- do you not like-? I can get you different ones, I was just-"
Marshall Lee chuckled shakily, letting the arm holding Gary's shirt fall. "No, it's not that. I..."
Well, he couldn't exactly say he was fine, could he? Clearly, he wasn't. And, God, he was so exhausted of pretending. It had only been a couple hours, but it felt like ages to him; he wouldn't be able to keep this up, even if he did lie now.
So, they didn't. They looked away, forcing a shaky smile, and said with a wobbling voice, "I just want this so bad."
Gary blinked a few time, before pointing to the shirt in Marshall Lee's hand. "The cat shirt?"
Marshall Lee shook his head again, his smile becoming more genuine for a second. "No, this." He extended his arm, motioning around the house.
"All of this. It's..." His arm dropped. "...so familiar. You're so familiar. Like... an old lover I've just met. And it's all so... domestic. And it hurts, because I've only known you for a little while, but I love you so much. Because I don't know if you-" He closed his eyes tight, trying hard not to sob, but feeling one bubble up past his throat, despite his best efforts. "- just... if- if you don't want me, I don't know if I can do this. Be this close to you. It hurts too badly. I'm sorry."
They focused too hard on steadying their breath to notice right away the noises Gary was making. Once they did, they opened their eyes, and immediately felt a wave of guilt crash down on their chest once they saw Gary crying, in turn, with the noises he was making being shaking gasps.
Gary took a deep breath to speak, clearly struggling to even get the words out and talking fast to do so.
"I thought you didn't love me! You're way too cool for me, and I just- I wasn't sure- I was worried that I was being too much!! I didn't know if I was going too far, or not far enough, I couldn't read your face or your tone or anything! So I just kept guessing, but...!" He interrupted himself with a sob, wiping his tears with his shoulder.
"No, I..." Marshall Lee shook his head, taking a step closer to Gary and desperately wanting to touch him, but not sure what would be okay. "Gary..." He hesitantly pressed a hand to Gary's wet cheek, which, to his relief, he leaned into. "Come on. You know I'm not that cool."
Gary laughed shakily, pushing his face further into Marshall Lee's hand, like a cat that leaned up into being pet. "You're really cool to me."
"I haven't exactly been cool the past few minutes."
Gary shook his head, even despite Marshall Lee's joking tone. "No. You told me the truth, even when it was hard because you risked being hurt. That's one of the coolest things that I can think of."
Marshall Lee felt his face go warm, shocked to silence for a moment, before averting his eyes with a grin. "I was being stupid, though."
"We've both been stupid," Gary responded easily.
Marshall Lee nodded slowly, rubbing Gary's cheek with their thumb tenderly. "... Could I kiss you even stupider?"
He felt Gary's face go warmer under his hand before he saw the blush spread across his face. "... I mean..." Gary stuttered for a moment, clearly trying to formulate some sort of clever comeback that continued their banter, but gave up, letting his head lean forward for Marshall Lee's easier access. "I'd like that."
So, they did. They kissed away the tears on Gary's cheek, and then they wrapped both arms around him, holding him close while he kissed their lips.