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A gif of Marina glomping Pearl, with text that says, "Having You By My Side Makes Today Perfect: The Pearlina Manifesto"

“A ship manifesto is a meta essay meant to introduce fans to a ship and promote it by explaining its appeal.”
-
Fanlore



Welcome to my Pearlina manifesto! In this essay, I will be introducing you to Splatoon, as well as the characters, Pearl and Marina. I will be going over their lore, their coding, and I hope that I will be able to make you understand their appeal as a romantic pairing.

First, though, I must get you caught up on the not-inherently gay lore of Splatoon. What you need to know is that, around 100 years ago, Octarians and Inklings coexisted in harmony. However, rising sea levels made it so the two had to battle over remaining territory. The Inklings came out victorious, and forced the Octarians to live underground and in much worse conditions. Nowadays, most Octarians are a part of the Octarian army, trying to regain control of the surface.

Also, for clarification: an Octarian is any octopus-like creature, but an Octoling is specifically the intelligent humanoid creature. All Octolings are Octarians, but not all Octarians are Octolings.


As for non-Pearlina key players, we have the Squid Sisters, also known as Callie and Marie. When they sing the Calamari Inkantation, it’s known to snap Octarians out of their brainwashing. Because it’s just that much of a bop.

Agent 8 was the first playable Octoling, introduced in Splatoon 2’s DLC, Octo Expansion. They’re an Octoling who had their memories wiped, and was one of the very first Octolings to escape the Octarian army and go to the surface for a new life. They are also the playable character of Splatoon 3’s DLC, Side Order.

We have DJ Octavio, who is the leader of the Octarian army. He has some messed up methods, and he’s sort of a war criminal, but he’s also a funny old man so we forgive him. He’s been around since the Octarian and Inkling war of old, along with Cap'n Cuttlefish. Cap'n Cuttlefish is an Inkling who enlists the named Agents, and the grandfather of Callie and Marie.

And lastly, there’s a phone. This phone is known as Tartar. It’s an AI driven to insanity by isolation, with a desire to wipe out all living beings on Earth to start anew. It frames itself as trying to help the Octolings who attempt to escape the underground, while actually leading the Octolings to their doom. Agent 8 is the first Octoling to escape its grasp alive.

Tartar is also the owner of what is known as Kamabo Co., which, among many other messed-up things, uses a process called “sanitization” to brainwash and wipe the memories of Octolings who work with them to escape to the surface. Sanitized Octolings are then used by Kamabo as test subjects, now mindless husks. Empty of all previous personality. Zombie-like creatures, made of Octolings who only wished to see the sun.

So, anyways, meet Pearl! She’s an Inkling who likes rapping and the dualie class of weapons! She’s a blunt speaker who uses slang a lot, and she’s energetic, expressive, and brash, but ultimately friendly. Her personality is intended to clash with her appearance, which is that of a typical soft, cute Japanese pop princess. “Gap moe”, as the kids say.

She was born rich, and with oddly-shaped vocal cords that made her able to be so loud that it could cause damage to her surroundings. She participated in a youth folks-singing contest as a child, which had to be cut short precisely because of the damage caused by her singing. Her using this ability is called her “Hypersonic Battlecry”. Upon reaching adulthood, she started a heavy metal solo career, and she had a song that gained some fans, “#$@%* Dudes Be #$@%* Sleepin”. However, besides that one song, she didn’t have much luck. Even still, she practiced regularly; going to Mt. Nantai to be alone, due to the potential danger her singing can cause, when she did.

Marina is an Octoling who likes singing, music production, and is also generally good with tech! She draws in a shoujo manga-esque style, and likes the brella class of weapons. She speaks in a soft and sweet way, but she can get sassy if provoked. She’s sentimental, shy and pretty bad socially, often coming across as awkward or oblivious. Despite this, she expresses herself honestly, without embarrassment.

Marina was born into Octoling soldierhood, and was trained up from a child as a combat engineer. She was so intelligent that she skipped multiple grades, and went to an elite training facility, where she became an active soldier in the Octarian army. However, when she was on the surface on a mission, and heard the Calamari Inkantation, she deserted the army and Octarian society. She was at a severe disadvantage, of course; she didn’t speak a word of the Inkling language. But she managed to escape, still, to Mt. Nantai.

Pearl and Marina met for the first time by chance, as Pearl was practicing in the mountains at the same time that Marina was escaping the army. They quickly grew close, and Pearl taught Marina the Inkling language and Inkling culture. She didn’t know that Marina was an Octoling at this time.

After this first meeting, Marina returned to the mountains every day for two weeks in hopes of meeting Pearl again. When they finally did meet again, Marina showed Pearl a demo of a song she created, which Pearl loved. The two agreed to form Off the Hook, and they released a polished version of the demo as their first single, under the title “Ebb & Flow”.

9 months after the events of Splatoon 1, Off the Hook was popular enough to take over hosting Inkopolis News for the Squid Sisters, who were now focusing on their solo careers.

Which leads us into Splatoon 2! Marina and Pearl don’t have a big role in the main game. They get a bigger spotlight in the game’s DLC. However, they host Inkopolis News and the Splatfests, so they have lots of dialogue for that!

But! There is another key player here. A rather important one, in fact, one who actually has a big say in Pearl and Marina’s story.

So, basically, Nintendo of America hates queer people. The Japanese dialogue for Pearl and Marina make it VERY clear that the two are intended to be queercoded. But Nintendo of America didn’t likey, so they censored the everloving shit out of it. They only got any better about this during the tail end of Splatoon 3’s lifespan, ending around the time Side Order released. Even then, I personally suspect that they only did this because a lot of the fanbase took notice of how, hey, they sure are throwing the term “best friends” around a lot more in the English version… For that reason, a lot of the dialogue I’ll be sharing for this section will be the original Japanese dialogue.

Note, these are just my personal favorite examples of dialogue between them. All dialogue referenced can be viewed on the indie Splatoon wiki, also known as Inkipedia.

During the first Splatfest, Marina says, “Even against Pearl-senpai, I will not lose,” and tells Pearl that she won’t hold back, despite how much she admires Pearl. We also have Marina inviting Pearl to eat with her after winning the Fries vs McNuggets Splatfest, and Pearl excitedly inviting Marina to see a movie together with her for Action vs Comedy. For the Knight vs Wizard Splatfest, Pearl says that she likes knights because they fight to protect everyone, and Marina, in response, says, “Ehehe, then I’ll be a witch so you can protect me!” Marina also reveals that she learned how to make chicken the way that Pearl likes so that she can make some for her, despite it not being her taste, in the aftermath of the With vs Without Lemons Splatfest.

One of the rare English localization wins is Marina saying that she likes using the brella to “protect her precious Pearlie at all costs!” There is also a line in the German localization where Pearl says that the Ferris wheel glimmers and shines, and Marina replies, saying it doesn’t glimmer and shine like Pearl’s eyes.

Lastly, in one of the Sanrio Splatfests, Pearl talks about having a dream where she is with Hello Kitty, and Marina responds by saying it’s too much cuteness for her to process. (Of course, her implying that Hello Kitty and Pearl are both cute, so them together makes her malfunction.)

I think one of the most underrated exchanges, though, is in the Friends vs Family dialogue, where Pearl is team family. Marina at first seems sad that Pearl would choose her family over her, and Pearl, noticing this, clarifies that she sees Marina as a part of her family. Marina, in response, exclaims that, in that case, she’s joining Team Family too! It’s SO cute. In the Japanese version of this exchange, she even does a keyboard smash in response because she’s so flustered and happy.

Also, when describing one of her favorite manga, Marina describes a manga which seems to heavily parallel her own life: “The protagonist was born to be the prince of an evil army and the story progresses along with his troubles! And to say nothing of the romance elements on top of that! It gets me emotional every time!” It’s clear that she sees herself in the protag, and is likely projecting her relationship with Pearl onto the romance, as her relationship with Pearl is what helped her escape her own “evil army”.

I’d also like to invite you to check out the official Splatfest art of them! There are a few pieces that show them domestic and just hanging out, like Pulp vs No Pulp and Warm vs Cold Breakfast. There are also a few more overtly romance-coded ones. In the Sci-Fi vs Fantasy art, Marina is obviously swooning over Pearl, and the gay eye contact in the Kid vs Grown-Up promo art is so good. But my two personal favorites are the Knight vs Wizard and the Vampires vs Werewolves art. I adore the framing of knight Pearl protecting witch Marina, just like she talked about in her Splatfest dialogue, in the Knight vs Wizard art, and the dramatic lighting is gorgeous. For the Halloween Splatfest, I’ve never gotten over the detail that Pearl is gently touching Marina’s face. Something about it just activates my neurons.

And speaking of Splatfests, after all is said and done, there has to be a final Splatfest, doesn’t there? This one is themed around the Splatpocolypse! Pearl reps Team Chaos, and Marina reps Team Order, for the question of which kind of apocalypse would be more bearable. The results of Final Fests are known to be very important, and to affect what happens in future Splatoon games, so, when Pearl starts talking like the future of Off the Hook is depending on the result of this Splatfest, the threat is very real, despite her reassuring Marina that she cares about their band.

But, in the end, it’s Pearl’s team who comes out victorious! And so Off the Hook will break… into new musical genres! Ayy!

Marina is confused by this outcome, and voices that she thought that Off the Hook would be breaking up. Pearl is confused right back at this assumption, because she would never break the two of them up.

Pearl’s Japanese dialogue reads: “That’s exactly why! Our, Off the Hook’s, best, unbeatable color will repaint the world! After all, I need you… Making music without you is no fun! Now, now, settle down… Are you okay, Marina? There’s still more coming up for Off the Hook!”

And her English dialogue reads: “You and me are gonna rock the mic together until the end of time! Or at least until I can get my solo career off the ground. BAHAHA! I’m just playin’, Marina. You know I love you. It’s you and me against the universe, ‘Rina!”

In all versions of the dialogue, Marina bursts into tears on-air out of joy, and Pearl tries her best to comfort her, assuring her that she never wanted to leave her behind, and never would want to. (She also directs the cameraperson to point the camera at her, trying to save Marina from any embarrassment.)

Special art for the Splatfest shows Pearl putting her signature crown on Marina’s head. In Splatoon 3, we get to see an in-game selfie of the two which confirms that this happened, presumably once they were off-air.

Splatoon 2’s DLC is called Octo Expansion, and follows Agent 8. Octo Expansion is where a lot of the lore with Octolings gets explored, including Marina being one! Because, yes, up until the release of this DLC, Marina has just VISIBLY been an Octoling this whole time, with nobody addressing it. It drove the fandom nuts. It was pretty funny.

Agent 8, with amnesia, finds themself in an underground subway system, stuck with Cap'n Cuttlefish and a desire to see the surface. Pearl and Marina accidentally get in contact with Agent 8 and Cap'n Cuttlefish because of a glitch in their communication device, and decide to help them out. As such, Pearl, Marina and Cuttlefish all end up in a group chat together to discuss strategy, and the player can read through their chat logs. It’s in these chat logs that Pearl and Marina relay much of their previously-discussed backstory. However, Marina never brings up her own past before meeting Pearl.

Which Cuttlefish decides to fix via outing Marina as an Octoling! Very cool. He sends Pearl information about Marina from when she was in the Octarian army, while Marina is away from the chat. Pearl is, of course, surprised, but isn’t stunned for long, as she immediately starts jumping all over Cuttlefish, threatening him to make sure no harm comes to Marina. World’s tiniest attack dog, truly.

When Marina returns, she goes silent when Pearl tells her that Cuttlefish shared her past, but, when Pearl reassures her that she’s still accepted, Marina’s implied to start crying out of joy via the emoticons she uses.

Something worth noting is that the Inkling/Octoling conflict is heavily coded to be analogous to racial and xenophobia-related issues, especially from this DLC-onward. Past wars are used as an excuse for bigotry, Marina and Agent 8 are both dark-skinned, Octoling culture seems to take inspiration from black culture, and Cuttlefish quite literally says, “I don’t see species” while complimenting Marina on how “articulate” she is.

In the final battle against Tartar, Marina and Pearl play a huge part! Marina uses her hacking skills to determine how to weaken Tartar’s blast, which would destroy all inkfish. Pearl uses her Hypersonic Battlecry to push back against the blast, and destroys the weapon in the process, after planning it with Marina (who uses a really gay shoujou manga-like drawing of Pearl, with sparkles around her, to illustrate the plan). This, of course, leads to the iconic scene where Marina glomps Pearl and nuzzles into her face at such force that she makes both of them fall over. They can be seen on the floor in the following shot, where Marina is still nuzzling into Pearl’s face.

While we’re in between Splatoon 2 and 3, I thought now would be a good time to sprinkle in some miscellaneous fun facts that don’t really belong anywhere else!
  • Pearl and Marina have nicknames for each other! Marina calls Pearl “my precious Pearlie”, or just “Pearlie”, and Pearl calls Marina “'Rina”.

  • In the Japanese text, Marina calls Pearl “senpai”, while referring to everyone else with the “-san” honorific. This is likely both because Pearl is older than her and because she has a lot of respect for Pearl. (Because yes, Pearl is the older one, despite their height difference suggesting otherwise! She is 21, while Marina is 18.)

  • Marina’s feelings for Pearl are 100% confirmed romantic! In the official relationship chart, Marina, in relation to Pearl, is described as “koisuru otome”. “Koisuru” means “to fall in love”, and “otome” means “maiden”, especially in romantic contexts like otome games. So she’s a “maiden who has fallen in love”! Nintendo of America, predictably, censored this in their localization of the chart.

  • They seem to have a princess and knight motif! This is made more explicit in Splatoon 3, but Pearl’s Japanese name, Hime, means 'princess’, and she is known as MC Princess in English. Her appearance is based on that of a “pop princess”. Marina, of course, was a top-ranking Octarian soldier. But Pearl is braver and is more protective of Marina, while Marina swoons at the idea of Pearl saving and protecting her in the Japanese text for Knights vs Witches. In appearance, Pearl is the princess and Marina is the knight, but in personality, it’s swapped.

  • In “Suffer No Fools”, Pearl refers to Marina as attractive and intelligent in various ways, depending on the language. In English, her line is, “She’s divine, one of a kind, voice so fine, BIG mind!” In Dutch, it’s, “She is without equal! Hell of a voice and won’t give an inch!” In French, it’s, “Divine and seductive, ravishing voice and GORGEOUS brains!” In Italian, the line is, “She is divine, a darling, crystalline voice, refined mind!” And, my personal favorite, the German version of the line: “My beauty writes tunes and she’s smart like a dream!”

  • Also, Suffer No Fools is a rap battle. So one of Frye’s disses is targeted at Marina, calling her Pearl’s “grouper”. This is a fish pun on “groupie”, which is someone who follows a pop star around in hopes of forming a romantic connection.

  • The Final Fest of Splatoon 1 was Callie vs Marie, so many people were expecting Splatoon 2’s to be Marina vs Pearl. When asked why this wasn’t the case, a head developer stated that the reason was that the Squid Sisters always had a hint of rivalry in their relationship. However, Pearl and Marina hold only care for each other. This is even directly addressed in the Final Fest’s pre-Fest dialogue, where Pearl states she knows that Marina is more popular than her, without a hint of bitterness.

  • Nintendo likes to give the idols of Splatoon faux-interviews, to make it feel like they’re real idols! One such interview asked Pearl what the most precious gift she’s ever received was, to which her answer was, “The chance to meet Marina!”

  • Lastly, in the Splatfest performances of “We’re So Back”, there is an extended section where Marina places her hand on Pearl’s lower back as they dance. Kinda gay.


With that, let’s get back to the story! Stop me if you’ve heard this before — but Pearl and Marina don’t get a lot of focus in Splatoon 3’s main mode, instead getting the spotlight in the game’s DLC. They’re super busy, after all, on their world tour!! Agent 8 went on tour with them, too, in order to help out behind the scenes. It’s also heavily implied that they moved in together between Splatoon 2 and 3, as, multiple times in 2, they say they have separate houses, but, in Splatoon 3, Pearl mentions “our (her and Marina’s) yard”. (Oh my God, they were roommates.)

Onto Splatoon 3’s DLC, titled, “Side Order”! As Splatoon 3’s general main story mode took on the chaotic aesthetic due to it winning 2’s Final Fest, Side Order is what takes on the aesthetic of Team Order.

And, remember how I said that Nintendo of America only got better about censoring Pearl and Marina being queercoded with the release of Side Order? Yeah, we’re gonna be referencing the English dialogue a lot more from now on.

In Side Order, Agent 8 is transported to a virtual world created by Marina, named Order Sector. This world was originally created to help sanitized Octarians regain their memories! However, it seems to have been corrupted, somehow…

In Order Sector, Pearl is turned into a drone! Together, she, Acht (also known by their stage name, Dedf1sh) and Agent 8 climb the Spire of Order to save Marina, who they can hear calling out to Pearl from the spire.

Quick Acht break. I would like to bring to attention the fact that Acht is canonically non-binary, and are only referred to with they/them pronouns in-game. This means that Splatoon is willing to go there, in terms of purposefully putting queer characters in the official canon. Just in case you needed more convincing, regarding Pearl and Marina’s queercoding being 100% intentional.

Anyhow. Upon reaching the control room, the 3 of them encounter Marina, now mind-controlled with a visor and called Marina Agitando. This new name for the controlled version of Marina matches the naming conventions of the other Side Order bosses. “Agitando” means agitated or restless, and an “agitato” in musical composition means that something must be played with force and accuracy (of course, leaning into the theme of order).

After freeing Marina, Agent 8 and Pearl are confronted by Order, an AI who seized control of Marina’s virtual world, and whose goal is to force everyone in the outside world into Order Sector, and to then establish a colorless world of order, where independent thought does not exist.

Marina, obviously distressed by her altruistic project being hijacked for a horrible purpose, resolves to help Agent 8, Pearl and Acht with subsequent journeys up the Spire. After rescuing Marina, Pearl is also able to freely transform between being a drone and an Inkling, but chooses to be a drone most of the time, as that form helps Agent 8 more on their missions.

(By the way, it’s around this time that we learn that Marina’s computer background is a picture of Pearl lying seductively in her Final Fest outfit. I’m not kidding.)

In subsequent climbs up the Spire, Marina joins you, and there is dialogue in between her, Pearl and Acht between stages. This dialogue had a tendency to be Very Gay. Standouts include but aren’t limited to:
  • Marina doing her usual gushing about how cool and cute and incredible Pearl is.

  • Pearl being protective of Marina, threatening violence if anyone is mean to her.

  • Pearl talking about a planned break after the tour, saying: “I promised her that we could find a quiet spot together and take it easy for a while.”

  • Pearl confessing that she isn’t scared of the usual enemies in the Spire, and the only time she did get scared was when she was fighting Marina. It frightened her that she didn’t know if Marina would be okay. (Again, knight/princess, you get it.)

  • Multiple instances of Acht saying “I’m glad you’re here, 8,” or something to that effect, after Pearl and Marina have a moment. With the implication being that they're glad they don’t have to third-wheel these dorks alone.

  • And, of course, the iconic dialogue where Acht says, “Hey, Pearl. Have we met? You seem familiar,” and Marina immediately responds, “What?! Acht, come on! You can’t seriously be hitting on Pearl in front of…!”


Ah, sweet, sweet, blatant queercoding. We could’ve been having this level of it this whole time in the English version, if Nintendo of America weren’t cowards.

Additionally, one of the rewards for completing missions in Side Order is being able to read Marina’s dev diaries! These give the player a lot of insight into the development of the virtual world.

We learn, among other things, that Marina planned for Pearl to be the player’s guide from the beginning, and that she personally crafted a model for her to use for this purpose. She writes: “It’s really, truly all starting to come together! I’ll put myself at the top of the tower, so Pearl has to climb it to get the user to me. ❤️ Wait… would that make me like a storybook princess? ❓ Hahaha, now I HAVE to do it! I’ll build you a tower worth the climb, brave Pearl!” (Again with, in terms of personality, Marina being the princess, and Pearl being her brave knight.)

Also, is now a good time to mention that the currency in the virtual world Marina created are called “Prlz”?

Marina also writes: “When I felt lost and directionless after deserting from the army, it was Pearl who showed me hope. ✨ The two of us formed Off the Hook, and ever since, I’ve felt like I’m just waiting to wake up from a dream! ❤️ Sniff- sorry, something’s in my eye!” Then she does a gay keysmash and crying emoji.

Plus, with each diary entry, we get a picture taken by Marina! This is where we get the selfie of her in Pearl’s crown, post-Final Fest. We also see, via her pictures, that she has plushies of her and Pearl on top of her computer setup, and has a sticky note doodle of Pearl with a heart in a speech bubble stuck to her computer. Among other gay shoujou drawings of Pearl we get to see, of course.

Once again, Pearl and Marina help Agent 8 a lot with the DLC’s final boss!

When you reach the top of the spire, before Order attacks 8, Marina is seen pleading with Order, trying to explain why its idea of a perfect world is dysfunctional. Her words, comparing everyone’s different thoughts to colors that mix together, closely parallel what Pearl told her in the Japanese text to comfort her after the Final Fest, showing that she’s truly internalized what Pearl told her.

When Agent 8 is knocked out by Overlorder, Order’s battle form, it seems, for a moment, all is lost. The screen is slowly losing its color. Marina desperately types away at her computer, scrambling to see if she can do anything, anything at all, to stop Order, but it’s no use.

Marina herself turns gray, and begins to glitch, just like everything around her. Everything slows. Realizing that she’s about to lose everything, she speaks, her voice distorted from Order’s influence: “Pearl… I…”

She’s not able to finish. The screen turns gray.

However, Acht had rushed over to Marina’s laptop, running and reaching out to just barely press the correct key. Agent 8’s heart begins to pump again – pumping to a beat.

Marina and Acht had begun playing a new version of Ebb & Flow, “Spectrum Obligato”, in defiance of Order’s ideals. Pearl, hyped up by the music, uses her Hypersonic Battlecry to destroy the control room!

After Agent 8 destroys Overlorder’s barrier, and collects all the color chips that were lost, Pearl uses a unique special, dubbed the Color Wail, which combines her Hypersonic Battlecry with the Killer Wail. The usage of “Spectrum” in the new version of the song, the collection of all of the color chips, and the new special being Color Wail all, of course, additionally call back to what Pearl told Marina.

This final attack causes Overlorder to explode, and in its place…! Reveal a tiny octopus, who baby-talks. This little guy is known as Smollusk, a childlike, heavily-damaged, and restricted version of Order. Like this, Order no longer poses any real threat.

In additional runs after this final boss, the player learns that Order was made of the desire from Marina, and other Octoling programmers she brought on, for an unchanging world. This adds additional meaning to the continuous callbacks to Pearl’s comforting words to Marina. Order is a manifestation of Marina’s desire for the world to never change, so she never loses Pearl, and, for Order to be defeated, it needs to be reminded again and again of Pearl’s words of comfort: that, even if the type of music Off the Hook makes changes, that change makes the world more colorful. But what will never change is that Pearl needs Marina by her side.

In these subsequent runs, as well, Pearl and Marina grow gradually more fond of this childlike version of Smollosk, who grows to like them in turn. Which, of course, leads to the fandom in-joke that they’re Smollosk’s moms, helped by the fact that Marina did, quite literally, make Order.

Which leads us to the Final Fest of Splatoon 3! But, I’d like to take a small break again, if you’ll indulge me. I’d like to provide a quick list of some of the romantic tropes that Pearl and Marina fall into. Yoinked from TVtropes!

  • Love Doodles: Drawing love symbols and writing initials and names, indicating someone has a secret crush. (I’d argue Marina’s doodles of Pearl fall into this trope.)

  • The Glomp: Tackling and hugging one’s love interest tightly.

  • Interrupted Declaration of Love: Character tries to confess their love for somebody, but is interrupted. (During the final boss of Side Order.)

  • Love at First Note: Falling in love with somebody when you hear them sing. (Marina first encountered Pearl when she was practicing her music.)

  • One Head Taller: A couple where one partner towers over the other partner.

  • Pitbull Dates Puppy: A rough and tough character (Pearl) falls in love with someone of a softer, gentler nature (Marina).

  • Please, Don’t Leave Me: A character pleads the love of their life not to leave them. (The point of conflict in Splatoon 2’s Final Fest.)

  • Sickeningly Sweethearts: Two people love each other to a sickeningly sweet level. (A sentiment expressed by Acht and Shiver.)

  • Violently Protective Girlfriend: This girl will not let anyone harm her significant other. (Pearl is very consistently shown with this trait.)

  • Like an Old Married Couple: Friends bicker and banter the way a married couple might, but without being married. (Seen a lot during Splatfest dialogue.)


There are even more tropes that Pearlina falls into that didn’t have a proper label on TVtropes (learning a loved one’s language, “it isn’t fun without you”, having your loved one as your phone or computer wallpaper, etc…), so just know that their story falls into many established romantic tropes.

Which brings us to the grand finale of Splatoon 3; a grand fest! Some may even say, the Grand Fest: Past vs Present vs Future! This was a very unique Splatfest in that each team is represented by a different idol group! Team Past is represented by Callie and Marie, Team Future is represented by Splatoon 3’s idol group, Deep Cut, and Team Present is represented by Pearl and Marina! Their team choice is a culmination of the lessons they’ve learned since their own Final Fest. In Pearl’s own words, from the Grand Fest announcement: “Get all you can out of the present, and the future will take care of itself. That’s real!” Which prompts Marina to agree, “I can take or leave my past. But my present with Off the Hook means so much to me!”

Indeed, the general theme with Pearl and Marina’s promotion of Team Present is that the reason why they love the present is because they love each other, and they love their present with the other. This is displayed no better than in their portions of the song, “Three Wishes.”

"Three Wishes" is a song, sung by all of the idols, about why their team choice is important to them. Callie and Marie sing about their past, shared memories, and how far they've come. Shiver, Frye and Big Man of Deep Cut sing about their hope and excitement for the future, and determination to cut down anything that gets in their way. Pearl and Marina, though, have many, many lines dedicated solely to how much they deeply care for each other, and how that makes them love the present.


A good example to illustrate this difference is each team’s lines following “Here we stand in time—endless past, present, and future span. / Our wishes are the flame that lights up history.” Callie and Marie’s are, “All life here is one—intermingled in the hourglass. / No start, no end, it lasts for all eternity.” Shiver, Frye and Big Man’s are, “Surging down the line—glowing promise we hold in our hands. / Reflecting off themselves to build a guiding gleam.” Both being rather directly about the appeal and importance of the past and the future. Pearl and Marina’s, though? “In the infinite sea of people passing in the dark, / My brightly burning radiance drew you to me.” Not referencing the present as much as their wonder and joy in the fact that, in such a wide world, they still managed to find each other.

Furthermore, in their extended section, Marina sings, “I’ve been searching, all of my life, / Finally I’ve found my north star. / My heart’s synched up, a satellite, / Orbiting wherever you are.” Following this up, Pearl raps, “So your life sucks? Down on your luck? Gotta free yourself, get your mind unstuck. / Let fear push you on through, can do— Use some colors in your palette but blue, / Paint it new!” Her language echoing the way she comforted Marina during their Final Fest, with talk of colors and paint, and the fact that this follows up Marina talking about meeting Pearl, seems to imply that these lyrics are directed at a past version of Marina. The following section being question-and-answer (Marina singing, “When is the moment you should chase your dreams?”, and Pearl responding, “It’s right now!”) seems to reinforce this idea.

After this, they sing together, in order to close out their dedicated section: “Overlapping cycles, binary stardom / Nothing can knock us out of our groove / Overlapping cycles, binary stardom / With you, nothing can stand in my way.” But, just in case you thought that would be a really romantic note to end on, don’t worry! They have one more shared line, which they sing together near the very end of the song:

“Having you by my side makes today perfect.”

That
is what they provide us as their closer; their ultimate reason why they live in the present. Why would they want to be anywhere else, when the other is here? This is also represented visually, in the trailer which revealed their outfits; they are not only holding hands, but them holding hands is the central point of the piece’s composition. Your eyes are meant to be drawn to it. On top of that, you can see them tighten their grip on each other as the camera pans out, bringing your eyes to that motion. You are meant to see and take notice of the fact that they are holding hands. That is the point. That is their point.

(By the way, one of Pearl’s lines in the Japanese version of "Three Wishes" is, “Hey! Give us a stage, romantic, and we’ll reminisce in the café.” The English translation is otherwise pretty accurate, so I didn’t feel the need to provide the Japanese versions of the text, but… yeah, sure. Namedrop a romantic café as the place where you and Marina (“we’ll”) would reminisce. Why not, at this point.)

Even when they lose, they still manage to make it about how much they love each other! When Marie prompts, “In honor of Team Past’s victory, let’s hear some of everyone’s favorite memories!”, Marina is quick to respond, “Mine would be the day I first heard Pearl’s voice at Mt. Nantai! Let me set the stage…” (She loves her wife so much. She needs you to know this!) Before she can continue, though, Shiver interrupts: “Um… not sure we have the airtime to go THAT far back. Save it for a podcast.” One last time, someone has to shut Marina down before she starts gushing about Pearl, before they go off-air.

And that is the complete timeline of Splatoon, as-of my time writing this!

So, basically, these inkfish are gay. Good for them! Good for them. I mean, if you have Nintendo of America censoring your dialogue for being too queer, and weirdos on Twitter are using you as an example of Nintendo going woke, then you know you’ve got it made.

Pearl and Marina genuinely love and care about each other so much, it makes me feel ill. They balance each other out in personality, able to banter and tease each other, but they are also both open about how much they admire and cherish the other. Both need the other in their lives, not just as their musical duo partner, but as their life companion. Marina will follow Pearl wherever she goes, and Pearl will protect Marina at all costs. Pearl doesn’t find any joy in making music without Marina, her muse, and after being a child soldier for the vast majority of her life, Marina is able to rely on and relax around her precious Pearlie, knowing and trusting that she is safe with her. They are both each other’s most precious gift.

 


Ever since I was a little boy, I always knew I wanted to violate intellectual property and copyright law