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fairyficContent Warning: Internalized homophobia
First Chapter | Masterpost (for more information) | Previous Chapter | Next Chapter
Crow had a rainbow patch sewn onto his shirt sleeve.
The last time Luke had payed a visit to Misthallery, he and Crow had talked about sewing a patch onto his clothing to hide a recent rip in his favorite shirt. It had been Luke’s suggestion when Crow brought it up; saying with a smile, “Anything that’s important to you! That maybe you’d want a patch of, even if you didn’t need it!”
Now he was back, and, when Crow and him had run into each other, Crow had a flag-shaped patch sewn onto where the rip had been, with a rainbow pattern.
Perhaps it didn’t give the best impression that Luke had been blatantly staring at it, before he had even responded to Crow’s greeting; going silent; because Crow snapped in his face irritatedly. “Hey, I said something!”
Luke perked up, standing up straight and smiling nervously. “Yes!! I’m sorry, I’m just... I just noticed that... You took my advice!”
Crow lowered his eyelids. “Yeah. I’m sure that’s why you were staring at my patch.” He crossed his arms, looking away. “Of course. You were raised as an uppity, holier-than-thou rich boy. I don’t know why I thought you’d be any different. Typical.”
That had silently confirmed what Luke had been wondering, but the conclusion Crow had drawn was quite possibly the farthest from the truth he could be.
Even if Luke hadn’t had the courage to talk about it out loud (or even write it down), in the privacy of his mind, he had begun to wonder if the way he saw boys was not universal. While he hadn’t exactly kept it a secret (honesty was the best policy, after all), it was mainly because he hadn’t been directly asked about it. Which was good. Luke wasn’t sure he would be able to lie.
But, if Luke hadn’t had anyone bring this up to him before he found out on his own, he doubted it would be brought up now. He had found out about boys liking boys by overheard something on television about people who are romantically interested in the same gender, who used the rainbow flag as their symbol of pride. It had only been a setup for a joke, so he didn’t know what the group was really about other than that, or even what it was called, but it had been bugging him since he heard it.
He had thought about kissing and holding hands with boys before (dare he say, even often), but Luke had wrote it off as something that everyone experienced or thought about. That boys were just, objectively, kissable and cute. But... If not everyone saw boys the way he did... Maybe...
But, who would Luke even ask? This hadn’t been something he had heard about until recently, and, so, somehow, it felt scary to bring it up. He would feel safer... More comfortable... With someone else who was like him, to ask questions. Learn more, help him understand.
And Crow (one of the most ‘objectively kissable and cute’ boys) just so happened to have a rainbow patch.
After Crow had snapped at him about staring, Luke waved his hands in front of his chest, his face burning. “N-no! It’s not like that, I... I was staring because... I think I...”
“You think you?” Crow echoed back, cocking an eyebrow as a silent dare.
Luke thought it would have been easier to talk about his thoughts about boys with someone who thought about boys the same way he did. But... For some reason, the words were still stuck in his throat, just as they had been when he considered bringing it up with Hershel, Emmy, Flora, and his parents... He could feel it on the tip of his tongue (I think I may like boys), but Crow was glaring at him, with such anger and... Just a little bit of hurt.
He couldn’t say it.
Luke swallowed pathetically, and sighed. “N... Nevermind. It’s nothing. I just didn’t expect it, is all...”
Crow rolled his eyes, but seemed to accept that explanation. “We don’t all wear dresses and makeup and have lisps,” he said simply, before changing the subject. “So, anyways, what’s new with you?”
Apparently, what was new was that Luke was now actively keeping a secret.
I shamelessly projected onto Crow in the ‘If’ chapter. Now it’s Luke’s turn! Yeehaw, my dudes.
